Mastering the Art of Intuitive Intelligence

Intuitive intelligence is fundamental for being a successful leader and manager. My question is whether or not intuition can be learned, or alternatively is it something innate that is beyond the locus of our conscious control?  I think there are elements of both at play.  Regardless of what you were born with, I believe that at least one aspect of intuition, the ability to ‘read’ people, can be enhanced and fine-tuned.

The key to intuitive intelligence is; being curious about the way other people think, frequently interacting with a broad spectrum of people, keeping an open mind and regularly putting yourself in ‘someone else’s shoes’, engaging all of your senses, trusting your gut instincts, and allowing your subconscious thoughts to percolate into your conscious mind where they can be processed cognitively.

Do you consider yourself to have a strong ‘sixth sense’ or ‘intuitive compass’? In this blog I will explore ways that you can fortify your intuitive intelligence by learning to flex your intellectual muscle while simultaneously tapping into your emotional instincts. This will help you Create Your Own Luck in life and business.

Cognitive “Book Smarts” Vs. Intuitive “Street Smarts”

How do you define intelligence? Linda Gottfredson is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Delaware and co-director of the Johns Hopkins Project for the Study of Intelligence and Society. In a paper entitled “Intelligence and Social Policy” she describes intelligence as being “a very general mental capability … not merely book learning, a narrow academic skill, or test-taking smarts … it reflects a broader and deeper capability for comprehending our surroundings –‘catching on’, ‘making sense’ of things, or ‘figuring out’ what to do.”

For simplification, I take a two-pronged approach when categorizing types of intelligence: “Book Smarts” and “Street Smarts.” To be a successful strategic manager you need a healthy balance of both book smarts and street smarts. Under this split-model, I look at  ‘Book Smarts’ as having to do with facts, reason or analysis, or what I call “Cognitive Intelligence”; ‘Street Smarts’ includes anything having to do with instincts, emotions and personality types, or what I call “Intuitive Intelligence.”

Clearly you can beef up your cognitive intelligence by exposing yourself to new ideas, studying hard and learning facts. But how do you go about fortifying your intuitive intelligence?  I believe that exploring new and unfamiliar territory, interacting and genuinely engaging with people from all walks of life everyday is the best way to raise and sustain your intuitive IQ.

One of my biggest concerns with the digital age — and the two dimensional virtual reality so many of us are sequestered to — is the social isolation and visceral disconnect that is created by social media and digital devices. The disconnection from our emotional and intuitive intelligence makes each of us less competitive in our personal and global economy. Human beings are social animals. We need lots of enriched and varied interpersonal connections if we are to maximize our full cognitive and intuitive potential.  Staying inside, at home in your basement playing video games does not flex your intuitive intelligence!

La Dolce Vita & Emotional Connectedness

 As an Italian American, family, faith and food were the foundation of the social and economic culture that I grew up in. Both of my parents were in the grocery business, which fit their Italian values and priorities perfectly. My mom, Pearl, worked the meat counter at the local grocery store and my father, Joe, was the general manager. My parents were not academics and didn’t necessarily excel in the ‘book smarts’ department — neither of them went to college. But they had intuitive genius and the ability to understand human nature and read complex emotional cues which they mastered by navigating generations of complex family dynamics and in their daily professional relationships.

I learned from watching my father manage the local grocery store that the ability to connect emotionally with people is more important than analytic skills when it comes to truly understanding what the customer wants. Managing a community grocery store is a microcosm for any business organization. As the manager of the food market, my dad had to master the unique combination of overseeing the operation of both goods and services; formulate and implement a business strategy; as well as develop and use analytical methods. But most importantly, he needed to connect emotionally with his customers, which required intuitive intelligence.

 As a teenager, I worked in the family grocery store too and learned firsthand how-to create happy customers by being authentic, asking questions, listening and having a positive attitude. The customer service I practiced working at the grocery store wasn’t something that I could learn in the library or by being isolated in an office cubicle or behind a computer screen focusing on my ‘book smarts.’  But, I knew that to live the American dream I needed a balance of both book smarts and street smarts, which is why I pursued a college degree and MBA. But I never forgot the powerful lessons and habits that were part of the gifts of my youth.

At the beginning of my career I had traditional desk jobs but soon realized that I needed a sense of adventure and exposure to new places and people to keep myself fully engaged and maximize my full potential. Luckily, as my career began to take off I began traveling internationally and was exposed to a wider and wider range of cultures, people and places which bulked up my intuitive intelligence and made it possible for me to become successful in the world of finance.

Before my  third year at Boston College back in 1980, I spent the summer waiting tables in Bar Harbor, Maine.  Being a waiter in a high quality, fast-paced restaurant was one of the best experiences I could have had for improving my Intuitive Intelligence and people skills. In order to get a great tip I learned how to read people and fine-tune my style based on the specific personality of a customer, or group of people. I learned to have good manners, etiquette, listen very closely to what they ordered, casually use a ‘sales light’ approach and ‘up-sell’ them. . . All the while, maintaining a laid back, authentic but dialed-in professional disposition. My attitude was always upbeat, inquisitive and friendly.

Waiting tables is an excellent way to fortify your intuitive intelligence because you get instant positive or negative reinforcement based on the percentage of tip you get from each table. And because the personality type of every table is so different you learn how to slightly change your approach—like a chameleon would—to make your customer’s dining experience as enjoyable as possible, which results in better tips. I highly recommend that all high school and college students spend a summer waiting tables. The skills you learn will help you for the rest of your life.

It’s important for all of us to foster our intuitive intelligence by observing people closely, identifying the subtle differences of personality types and celebrating and being open minded to the diversity of human beings.  Anytime you have the chance to people watch you should do it. If you are stuck in an airport, on the subway or sitting in a coffee shop—look up from you life and lose yourself in the people around you. Make people watching into a game. Try building a full character and narrative around each person. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are observing and imagine what his or her daily routine is like…What makes this person tick? Would you want to be friends or romantic partners with this person? What type of work and hobbies do you think he or she does? What overall ‘vibe’ do you get from the person?

The Myers-Briggs Personality Index

In a business seminar years ago I learned about the Myers-Briggs Personality Index which is a systematic way of categorizing different types of people.  The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality index which was originally developed by Carl Jung. From Jung’s original concepts, Briggs and Myers developed their own theory of 16 different psychological types. Here is a link that describes the 16 personality types: http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html  Which of these personality types best describes you?

Studying this index and learning the different personality types can create a short-hand for reading people more quickly and ‘tagging’ them. But remember, you can never really judge a book by its cover. People are very complex. Don’t ever pigeon-hole yourself or your clients. Use this index as a tool to begin to see a thumbnail sketch of a person’s complex personality and idiosyncrasies.

To take an online Myers-Briggs test and find out what your four letter combination is click here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

The key to emotional connection is learning how to be a great listener and ask appropriate questions that help you get to know someone better. But, beyond the words you hear it’s important to pay attention to all the other cues you pick up on that go beyond language. Keep you antennae up and pay attention to: body language, a person’s sense of style, haircut, jewelry, eye contact, tone of voice, sense of humor, overall ‘aura.’ Try to take it all in. What statements is this person making consciously and subconsciously?  Paying close attention to the full spectrum of cognitive and intuitive output someone is emitting is how you learn to read people. But this takes practice! So, even if you’re not a social creature force yourself to be more socially engaged and expose yourself to all types of people from all walks of life because this will fortify your intuitive intelligence.

I recommend the following links to assist you in fine-tuning your ability to understand and learn from the myriad of non-verbal cues.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203863204574348493483201758.html

Intuitive Intelligence is Key to Creativity and Innovation

Intuitive intelligence is the wellspring of creativity and innovation.  Being holed up inside, plugged into a digital device and disconnected from face-to-face interactions dulls your intuitive intelligence and makes you less competitive in a tight job market. If you spend too much time watching TV, on your computer or smart phone where information and entertainment is spoon fed to you your intuitive intelligence will shrivel and you’ll end up sabotaging your chances for success.  On the flip side, the time you spend unplugged from digital devices, meeting new people, traveling, exploring nature, moving your body, bonding intimately with family and friends will fortify your intuitive intelligence and make you more likely to Create Your Own Luck and truly succeed.

Kami Lyle and her trumpet at Bubala’s, one of my favorite hangouts on the Cape.

I was reading the Wall Street Journal yesterday and an article entitled ‘Are We All Braggarts Now?’ caught my eye.  The subtitle was ‘Tips for Successful Bragging’ and I thought the article might be helpful to my readers who are trying to land that first job out of college or are trying to set themselves apart as they ‘climb the ladder’.  Here’s the link to the article: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444184704577587091630924000.html

The article was interesting and somewhat humorous but I didn’t find it tremendously helpful since it focused more on the epidemic of personal boasting as greatly facilitated by the variety of social media tools we use today.  As the article describes, bragging is out of control because we live in a society of ‘un-relenting competition’ during an economic cycle with the most competitive job market in recent history.  Given the insecurities of this environment we tend to brag more to build ourselves up, appear worthy, or prove to ourselves that we’re OK.  We’ve all done it but my question is, when is it appropriate or necessary?

We do need to ‘stand out’ and be ‘remark’able to create more opportunity for ourselves.  I call it ‘Tooting Our Own Horn’.  But what’s the difference between ‘Tooting Our Own Horn’ and ‘Bragging’?  I think it largely comes down to the relevancy of the comment to your audience.  Who is your audience?  Is it your boss, your client, your spouse, an interviewer, your bank, an investor in your company or endeavor?  Will they benefit or will their goals and objectives be positively impacted by your achievement(s)?  Will they be able to make better decisions based on the information you are sharing?  If the answer is yes then ‘Toot Your Own Horn’.  No one will do it for you and maybe in the absence of the information you share you may be depriving your audience of being the best they can be or accomplishing the most they can.

For example, if an interviewer does not understand your full capabilities they may hire the wrong person.  If you haven’t shared an accomplishment with your boss he may not know how capable you would be in handling the next, even bigger challenge.  You may also deprive him of offering suggestions/enhancements that could make your accomplishments even more dramatic in the future.  In my career I would take the communication to the next level and share the accomplishment of an individual on my team with my superiors.

Be careful though.  Make sure what you communicate is always 100% factual and honest.  As you know, everything can be vetted nowadays.  Also, if others helped you meet a certain goal always communicate how helpful they were.  Since many of our accomplishments are team based we must acknowledge the team and in fact make the important impression that we are team players for the good of the organization.

And one more point, if you are making assumptions that will impact your accomplishment then clearly state them as assumptions or future possibilities.  For example, if you just met with a prospective client and they promised to bring you new business make sure you also mention that your contact may need to get their boss’ approval before the decision is final.  And don’t state that the business is worth $100,000 when the first piece of business may be worth$5,000.  Of course, it is ok to communicate the potential for a lot more business if the client is satisfied.

‘Tooting Your Own Horn’ to coworkers can be more problematic.  They are a different audience and have different needs than your superiors.  In a true team environment your coworkers would celebrate your accomplishments.  Unfortunately, many organizations and cultures have not yet progressed to the celebratory phase!  When in that environment, lower the volume of the toot!  If your boss thinks it would be helpful to others on the team he may ask you to share during a team meeting.  Or….you can be a little assertive and try to ‘Create Your Own Luck’ by asking your boss if it would be appropriate to share your story at the next team meeting!

My friend’s Dad always said , “If you want to show someone you care, speak with your feet.”  I love that phrase and I love the meaning behind it.  If you really care there is no better way to show it than by physically showing up.  I think we all tend to lose sight of this given our hectic lives as well as the endless ways to stay in touch provided by the latest technologies.  You can easily send flowers, tweets, emails, facebook messages, digital pics and videos, make phone calls, etc., but in the end, it is our physical presence that makes the most powerful impression.  Don’t forget this fact in your career.

All the tools at our disposal today can add to our ability and efficiency in establishing and nurturing professional connections but none are as powerful as ‘face time’.  I learned this quickly as a young sales professional at IBM.  People buy from people and the more they respect and like you, the more successful you will be.  I don’t care what you’re selling.  It’s easy to see how critical face time is in a sales position but it’s just as critical to your career as a whole.  Maybe you’re not in ‘sales’ but please never forget, you’re always selling yourself – your trustworthiness, your integrity, your creativity, your ability to ‘get it done’.

As I rose in my career from a sales position to middle and upper management the importance of speaking with my feet within my company became very obvious.  Most of us have careers that are more internally focused within our organizations.  We’re part of teams that have important daily tasks as well as long term goals and objectives to accomplish.  We’re not islands.  We need our team members to be on the same page, have consistent strategies, and as much as we can get them to support our point of view.  That is where the challenge is.  After a short time of working internally instead of externally ( in sales) I began to realize that I was simply more successful in accomplishing my objectives if I got off my butt and met with people face to face.

As I’m writing this I’m surprised that this was such a revelation!  The benefit of a sales career, especially if you’re successful, is that internal disagreements and politics are not as obvious.  In fact after getting used to my managerial role I would tell my salespeople to be a little selfish, tell me what they need, and (if I agree) I’ll deal with the internal challenges to get it done.

As the challenges grew so did the need for face time with others in my company.  I tested this but not intentionally.  Like me, I’m sure there are some people you’d rather not deal with in person.  :))  Sometimes you’re just having an off day and don’t want to interact with anyone!  Just send an email?  Make a phone call instead?   I tried this occasionally.  It never worked as well.  In fact there were times when the lack of an in-person conversation ultimately created more work.

Set yourself apart.  Speak with your feet!  Most people don’t do it anymore.  That will make it easier for you to be ‘remark’able.

As a side note, I missed the Provincetown 10K Charity Run today.  I partially sponsor the run and would have really liked to be there.  Instead, 2 of my children and I were in Oregon ‘Speaking With Our Feet’!  We do it for people we love and it feels so great too.

There are many ways to stand out from the crowd, some more difficult than others but always well worth it.  Hard work, creativity, leadership, academic distinction, positive attitude, consistent ethical and respectful behavior, can all takes years and much effort to perfect and make habitual.

Fortunately what I’m suggesting in this blog is easy and it will set you apart.  You know from reading these blogs that I’m all about being ‘Remark’able.  Please see Seth Godin’s Standing Out video on Ted.com.  The main theme of that brilliant and funny video is to get people to remark about you and/or your product or service.

Whether we like it or not we live in an ADD society that thrives on immediate action, responsiveness, results.  What norms have we settled into regarding social media? How much time should we take to respond to a text?  Can we wait more than 5 minutes before we check a tweet?  How often do we look at Facebook?  Is email becoming the new snail mail?

It is against this backdrop that a new social media tool will thrive.  It’s relatively unknown, it’s easy, and it appeals quickly to many senses.  It’ll get your point across faster and more effectively than anything we’ve used before.  This tool comes to us via one of my students in my Social Media Marketing class at BC.

This new tool is called Vsnap and it is being developed by a new technology company in South Boston.  Vsnap is like video Twitter.  Vsnap makes it easy to send short 60 second video messages as a more personal and effective alternative to email.  Think about the applications – your message made more powerful with a personable and passionate video of you or your best people delivering the message.  You can send Vsnaps to any email address or groups, or directly to your Twitter feed.

It’s a quick and very personal way to say thank you for your business or face to face meeting.  You can deliver it attached to an invoice or product/service proposal. Maybe your customers will send you a Vsnap as a testimonial to your service.  Of course we can use it purely for social media to send more effective personal messages but the business and ‘Remark’able applications are endless.

Vsnap is in beta test now but can already be used effectively.  Get on the bandwagon before the world does.  You’ll impress with your creativity and grow your exposure in a fast, easy, personal, and exciting way.  Check out Vsnap.com.  And no, I’m not a paid promoter and have no connection to the company.  I just love the applicability of the technology!    Don’t forget, you’ll look 5-10 pounds heavier in video!  Ouch!

Have Fun!  Rob

Meditating at Cinnamon Bay, St. John

Blog Post 6.5   It’s amazing to me that after 50 years of life (!) I finally realized that we have the ability to control our minds instead of letting our minds control us.  Therein lies the power of meditation.  Prior to 2011, I thought meditation was the purview of people from the 60s or those that wished they were still at Haight Ashbury during the ‘Summer of Love’.  Meditation was a little too ‘out there’ for me.  Boy, was I wrong.  During a difficult 2011, I was grasping for anything that could make life’s changes more understandable and less stressful.  We all try to deal with the stressors of a fast-paced life as best we can.  Generally, the higher the stress or anxiety level, the greater the chance for a less than positive outlook (which, in turn, can sabotage our careers, thereby increasing stress)!

We’d all like a chance to catch our breath, settle our restless minds and breathe, but who has the time?  Is there a way for those of us who aren’t ready (or can’t afford) to retire on a beach somewhere to gain control of our thoughts and emotions?   Well, not to sound cryptic, but the answer lies within.  Meditation!  I know some of you may be thinking, “I don’t have the time,” or, “I don’t have the patience,” or “That’s too weird for me,” or “How does one even get started?”  That’s why I’m taking the time on this blog entry to cover the why and how of meditation, in the hope that it will pave the way for you to reap the rewards of a trained, focused and more peaceful mind.

Answering the “Why meditate?” question is easy.  We ALL have a calm, clear mind buried somewhere under the static, chores, duties, responsibilities, stressors and irritations that come naturally from bludgeoning our way through life with an untrained mind.  We may be “successful” on several scales, but can we really ever consider ourselves successful until we have peace of mind?  How much is that worth to you?  People pay a lot of money to go sit on a beach for a week or two and pretend they don’t have any problems, only to return to “real life” and have it all crash down on their shoulders again.

Well, meditation doesn’t cost anything and you can start in just a few minutes a day, once you know the steps.  You will quickly discover that you aren’t required to act on every thought.  Your mind can be a great ally in your struggles and experiences, instead of a source of rigidity or painful thoughts that take control of your emotions.  Often we are burdened with our mind’s inflexible perceptions which we hard-wire over many years of experiences.  This dampens our ability to see things as they are, react appropriately and move in a helpful, more positive direction.  Meditation enables us to ‘re-wire’ our minds.

OK, so how do you get started?  This is the best part.  The equipment cost is $0.  No fancy gym membership required, no lululemon athletic wear, or professionals charging exorbitant hourly fees.  However, there are a few things that will help you get better results quicker.  First, pick a quiet, comfortable, clean place.  Preferably someplace spacious or where you feel uplifted.  Second, pick a time to give it a go and try to stick with that time daily if at all possible.  Maybe you have 10 minutes in the morning?  In preparation, try to wind down any tension you have so you can really relax and flow into a calm state.  Maybe even stretch out a bit to limber your body as well as your mind. Now you’re ready.

Take an upright, seated position, well-grounded either on a cushion (with legs loosely crossed) or a chair (with feet flat on the floor).  Hands on the thighs, fingers relaxed, chin tucked, jaw relaxed, eyes and mouth slightly open, gaze down or close your eyes.  It’s not about intake right now…not really looking and not really listening, just…being.  Now here comes the fun part.  Pay attention…to your breath.  Try counting the cycles of in and out.  If you find your focus wavering, check your posture.  Upright with an imaginary string pulling your spine straight as your body relaxes around it.  Recognize any thoughts rushing in, let them go, and continue to breathe steadily in and out.  In time, the mind will relax and the thoughts will slow, allowing you to get down to the business of synchronizing your body and mind.  Deep, calm, settled.  This leads to mindfulness – the ability and experience of complete immersion in the present moment, often with gratitude, recognition of the beautiful life that surrounds and welcomes us with a more complete existence.  You may want to try a Meditation Center near where you live to get you started.  Most Centers offer guided meditation for beginners that may cost $5 per 1 hour class.  The Shambhala Mediation Center of Boston, for example, can be reached at info@shambhalaboston.org.

Sound too good to be true?  In the short time I’ve been practicing I’ve noticed dramatic and exciting changes for the better, both in my mood, thought patterns and physical presence.  This is something everyone can do, with patience and practice, and it is highly recommended as a method to steady your thoughts and actions, increase your level of calm and happiness and move through life unhindered by the various demons that make their presence known throughout our day.

And just another quick note…Yoga can often provide similar benefits, with the added bonus of increasing flexibility.  I know it can be difficult working it into your normal routine of weights + cardio, but definitely consider it an option – meditation in movement – good stuff!  As always, I’m interested to hear any comments or suggestions that you may have, or techniques that worked for you.  We’re all in this together.  Best of luck!  Rob

Excellent Books about Meditation:

When the Chocolate Runs Out ; Lama Yeshe, Wisdom Publications, Boston

The Joy of Living; Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, Three Rivers Press, New York

Blog Post 6.4    I met a guy at a charity event a few years ago who was studying to get a degree of some sort in acupuncture.  I can’t remember the school he was going to but I remember it was a multi-year program and I was surprised that the training was so extensive.   I was telling him that my daughter had been seeing an acupuncturist for years to help relieve her leg pain and it really seemed to work.  Since I am a notoriously bad sleeper I asked my new friend if acupuncture could help and he assured me it would.

That was three years ago and I still go to my acupuncturist at least every 2 weeks.  I felt a little weird at first getting ‘needled’ but I’m a huge fan now.  The sessions usually last about an hour and start with an assessment from a trained practitioner of acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).  Not to my surprise, my acupuncturist attributed my sleeping problems to an overactive response to stress.  We all deal with many stressors in this fast-paced world and the symptoms can really bring us down.  I don’t know about you but when I don’t sleep well I get pretty cranky.  It’s hard to have a positive outlook then!

Modern day stress is considerably higher, more frequent and more consistent than what our predecessors experienced.  Over time this excess stress can be very detrimental to our physical and emotional health.  Unfortunately, the higher and more consistent our stress is, the higher likelihood that it gets ‘locked in’ resulting in damage to our bodies and our minds.

One way that stress affects the body is through a depletion of Qi (pronounced “chee”), especially that of the kidneys and adrenal glands.  Qi is the vital energy that supports the functions of the body.  It flows through specific pathways and provides nourishment for the entire body.  When Qi becomes blocked or depleted our health can become compromised.

I don’t know how this was figured out thousands of years ago but I can tell you it works!  I always sleep better after my acupuncture treatments.  I feel less stressed, have a better perspective, think more clearly, and generally am much more positive and pleasant to be around.  My career and interpersonal relationships are significant beneficiaries.

Acupuncture does not have to be expensive.  While private sessions are around $80 in the Boston area, many centers have group acupuncture that cost as little as $25 per session.  While it may seem a little unusual to be sitting in a recliner with 5 other people around, the room is very peaceful and serene and the acupuncture is just as powerful.

Don’t be afraid.  It doesn’t hurt…..that much!  The needles are so thin that you really can’t feel them.  You may feel a weird, very slight ‘electrical shock’ sensation initially but chances are you’ll keep going back for more once you see the benefits in your daily attitude.   Rob

THANK YOU to Pathways to Wellness at 601 Washington Street, Boston, for opening my eyes to TCM.

Blog Post 6.3:  Even the Most Optimistic People Can get Depressed.

I think many of us suffer from depression at one point or another in our lives.  It’s extremely difficult to have a positive attitude when you are struggling with depression either on a long-term basis (clinical depression) or as a result of a difficult life event (situational depression).

One of the worst bouts of depression I had was when I was going through a divorce in the late 1990s.  For a period of time I allowed my depression to have a very negative impact on my life. After a few months, I realized that the impact on my career was becoming very detrimental. Given the importance I put on career growth, I knew I had to do something.  The late 90s was the period of my life when my career took off.  There is no way this would have happened if I had not been proactive about dealing with my debilitating depression.

At that time I talked to my doctor about how I was feeling and he recommended an excellent therapist. I began talk therapy followed in a few months by antidepressant medication.  I found the talk therapy to be extremely helpful in getting perspective on my issues and the medication kept me more balanced on a day-to-day basis.

My depression also impacted my relationships with friends and family. Maybe the catalyst to spring into action should have come from the impact on my interpersonal relationships but it didn’t. I’ve learned a lot since then!!  Now I know how important it is to balance both my career and my relationships.

That said, 2011 was another very difficult year for me regarding my personal life. If you’ve been reading my blog post for the past few months you may remember the ’2 Swift Kicks in the Head’ blog. Yes, 2011 was tough, but it was also a very productive year for personal growth and my career.  Again I was forced to became pro-active and deal with my depression.  This time I also added yoga and meditation to the mix.  The combination was very helpful and enabled me to grow more than I ever could on my own.

If you think you might be depressed below is a link to a quick online quiz that will take less than 3 minutes to complete:

http://www.webmd.com/depression/depression-symptom-quiz

One of the biggest traps of depression is a tendency to isolate and disconnect from people. This is one of the worst things you can do. It will only make your mood worse. Make sure to stay socially active and maintain close-knit bonds with loved ones, even when it involves some effort. Talking with your close friends about your sadness is healing and liberating. It’s important to get your feelings out!!

Symptoms of Depression

People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. How severe, how frequent, and how long the symptoms of depression last will always vary. Below are common symptoms people with depression experience (source: National Institute of Mental Health):

• difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• fatigue and decreased energy
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• overeating or appetite loss
• persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
• thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Causes of Depression

The cause of depression is usually a combination of life events and chemical changes in the brain. Some types of depression run in families—but depression can also occur if you have no family history of the illness. Depression can also manifest as anxiety, anger and cynicism—being depressed in not just about feelings of ‘sadness’. The following may play a role in depression:

• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Certain medical conditions like cancer or chronic pain
• Seasonal changes in light and weather
• Stressful life events, such as:
  • Death or illness of someone close to you
  • Divorce
  • Job loss
  • Financial hardship
  • Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Treatment of Depression

In general, the medical field or “professionals” believe that are two basic treatments for depression: The first is prescription antidepressant medications and the second is talk therapy. If you have mild depression, you may only need talk therapy. People with more severe depression generally need a combination of both treatments.

You should consult with your therapist or a psycho-pharmacologist to find the best prescription medications for you, if that is an option you want to explore…. If you want a homeopathic remedy, St. John’s Wort is an herb sold without a prescription that has been shown to help some people with mild depression. However, it can change the way other medicines work in your body, including antidepressants and birth control pills. So, please talk to your doctor before trying this or any other herbal remedy.

Typical types of ‘professional’ talk therapy are:

• Psychotherapy can help you understand the deeper issues behind your current state of mind and offer guidance and support from a mental health professional.
• Joining a support group with people who are going through a similar problem can also be very therapeutic and beneficial.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches you how to counter negative thoughts and specific problem-solving techniques to break the cycle of depression.

Some inexpensive ways to cope with depression are deep breathing, meditation and exercise. Getting regular exercise is one of the absolute best ways to combat depression. Any aerobic or strength training exercise will beef up both your physical and psychological fitness. If you have the resources to get a massage or acupuncture these can be very helpful homeopathic ways to treat depression.

Inexpensive ‘sun’ lamps can also help.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a clinical term for the ‘winter-blues.’ Like most people, my mood is greatly impacted by the weather. This time of year when the weather is grey, cold, and the days are short it’s easy to become melancholy. ‘Light therapy’ is a beneficial aid to combat SAD. Obviously, try to expose yourself to as much natural light as possible but you can also invest in a special ‘sun’ lamp with a very bright fluorescent light (10,000 lux) that mimics natural light.

Even when you are in the blackest of blackness remember that there will be light and happiness in your soul again! Ride out the storm—but don’t do it alone. Having a positive attitude is also about taking action to improve your well being. If you are depressed the most positive thing you can do is reach out and ask for help. Open up and show your sensitivity and vulnerability to your closest friends. Their support will warm your heart.

My next blog in this Positive Attitude series will explore the benefits of yoga and meditation as a valuable method for improving mental clarity, mood and perspective. Meditation and Yoga were very helpful to me in the past year. I look forward to sharing with you. Rob

CREATING OPTIMISM: BLOG POST 6.2

Ray Kroc, of McDonald’s fame once said: “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” I agree, both literally and figuratively. To me ‘sweat’ is synonymous with both hard work and physical activity. Everyone realizes that a solid work ethic is fundamental to long-term success but it’s a challenge to ‘give it your all’ when your glass is ‘half empty’. Most people underestimate the power of regular exercise to help you become a leader, innovator, and the person known as the ‘Get-it-Done’ member of the team who always pulls through and rises to the top under any circumstance.

With the struggles I’ve been through in the last 25 years, partly created by my mind (I can laugh about it now!) and partly real, I’ve tried everything to improve my mood and attitude. The power of regular physical activity is one of the most effective ways I know to not only improve your outlook and mood—but to help you Create Your Own Luck professionally. And, you can start small – any physical activity helps, you don’t have to run 5 miles a day.

That being said…..Last week I got a comment from a Guinness World Record athlete named Christopher Bergland asking me how my commitment to regular physical activity influenced my success in the business world. Like many people, I originally started working out to look better, which by the way is NOT the biggest benefit, and never thought much about the fact that my daily workouts were in fact becoming more and more entwined with my ability to rise to the top of my career.

Looking back on the pressure cooker that I was living in as a father, husband and head of revenue generation at IFIN, I realize that running and working out were not only my sanctuary but also fortified a mindset and patterns of behavior that were directly linked to my success. Now that I have retired from the investment world and am focused on teaching and writing I realize again how much exercise helps me in these fields, too.

Below are nine ways that regular physical activity has benefited me professionally and can benefit you too. The impact of exercise on our minds and bodies greatly enhances our success.

1. BRAIN POWER: Exercise makes you smarter. Scientists have discovered recently that cardiovascular exercise stimulates the creation of new brain cells. This is called neurogenesis and it makes you smarter, more focused and improves memory.

2. YOUTHFULLNESS: The key to staying young is to not degenerate physically and mentally. The BEST defense you have against the degenerative process is to move your body. (And as my friends know, I’ve tried all the nutritional supplements – I’m still a big fan of fish oil and berries!) Not only will you look and feel better well beyond your ‘prime’—this youthful disposition will keep you viable in a cut-throat job market.

3. CREATIVITY: In order to be “Remark-able” you need to have fresh ideas and learn to connect unrelated ideas in new and effective ways. Neuroscientists are just beginning to understand why “bi-pedal” activities like walking, jogging, biking lead to creative thinking and new ideas…It will take them a long time to figure that out—but in the meantime you can ask anyone who exercises regularly if they do most of their problem solving and creative thinking during their daily workout and they will say “yes.”

4. “GET-IT-DONE” ATTITUDE: When I lift weights I am very methodical about the process. I like to visualize each muscle group, the specific number of exercises, the bench I will use, sets/reps…and then I get the job done. Some people at the gym lollygag and spend most of their time socializing. Big mistake! I have a get-in, get the job done attitude at the gym that translates into a similar attitude on the job. I always finish what I start—on time—and never promise what I can’t deliver. Exercise reinforces this trait.

5. STRESS REDUCTION: Stress is public enemy number one. We live in a ‘Fight-or-Flight” world that raises level of Cortisol, also known as the “Stress Hormone.” Physical movement releases cortisol (which is also responsible for belly fat) from your body. If you don’t move your body, cortisol will continue to accumulate and you will get fatter and more stressed out. Break the cycle with at least 15 minutes of cardio most days of the week.

6. GRACE UNDER PRESSURE: With all the anxiety that people are feeling these days there is a palpable tension in the air when it comes to money and jobs. Exercise creates a sense of self-reliance and calmness. If you can get in a cardio workout before a big interview you are more likely to not panic and nail it. Remember this please!

7. ‘DOABLE’ GOALS: One of the biggest difficulties I have seen in people at the beginning of their careers is their inability to break monumental tasks into doable doses. Through working out regularly you learn to compartmentalize things in a way that allows you to nibble off what you can chew…digest it and move on to achieve a larger goal. This skill also helps you remain more positive since you will be accomplishing your smaller goals more frequently thereby giving yourself more frequent ‘congratulations!’.

8. CONFIDENCE/RESILIENCE: It takes a lot of patience and stamina to keep getting up when you feel like you’ve been knocked down again, and again. Regular physical activity gives you the inner-strength and self-belief to be strong and brave in the face of adversity. Pushing through the final reps of a tough set of weight lifting requires extra ‘Oomph!’– and a spotter, for that matter….The great thing about pushing beyond your limits is that it stimulates hormones like Testosterone which make you more of a go-getter. Try to push out of your ‘comfort zone’ physically and mentally. Your daily exercise regimen is something that YOU control and something that you can be very proud of.

9. WORK ETHIC: Nobody else can sweat for you. You get out what you put in, and more! One thing I love about seeing top executives who ‘hob-nob’ at social events in the evenings is that in the morning they are back at the gym sweating it out. Evidently they got the memo too. You can arrive at the top but in order to stay there—and be satisfied—you have to be earnest and keep sweating it out everyday. GET STARTED AND GOOD LUCK! ROB

]]> http://www.createyourownluck.com/2012/01/06/regular-physical-activity-makes-you-luckier/feed/ 2 http://www.createyourownluck.com/2011/12/31/football-optimism/ http://www.createyourownluck.com/2011/12/31/football-optimism/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:53:09 +0000 Rob Mancuso http://www.createyourownluck.com/?p=273

Blog Post 6.1

I didn’t intend for this to be the first blog post on improving your attitude and optimism but the opportunity presented itself so why not?  It is football season and I’m all about being optimistic.

One of my favorite weekly news magazines is a publication called The Week.  I try to read it front to back each week since it provides a synopsis of the leading domestic and international stories from a variety of viewpoints.  I’m a firm believer in having an open and curious mind so it’s important for me to understand all sides of a story.

The December 23rd issue of The Week had an article on optimism entitled, ‘Tebow: How faith leads to victory’.  Tim Tebow has done wonders for the Denver Broncos but as the article states, he “has become a divisive figure in the nation’s culture wars, by flaunting his faith at every opportunity”.

Whether or not you’re a big fan of organized religion, I think there is something to be learned here.  There are a variety of ways to increase your optimism, your attitude, and your hope for the future.  Religion is one way.

Daniel Engber in Slate.com says that Tebow is a “mediocre quarterback” but if that’s the case how is he transforming the Broncos?  The article states that what has happened to the Broncos defies all “rational explanation.”  Tebow’s faith is a big part of his optimistic attitude and therefore is a big part of his success.  Frank Bruni in The New York Times says that in dire situations that would discourage most other players, Tebow has a quiet, unshakable confidence that everything will work out for the best.  His teammates are inspired by this and often it does work out for the best.  Positive attitude and optimism matter to our success.  There’s no doubt about it.

Should we all become evangelicals like Tebow?  Not necessarily.  Tebow finds optimism through his faith.  He is using the power of his brain to enhance his perception of reality and what is possible.  It doesn’t really matter how we get there as long as we find effective methods or avenues for us to train our minds to look at the bright side thereby increasing our hope for a positive outcome.

Our minds are very powerful and there are many ways that we can help our minds help us.  Organized religion is one way that works for some people.  I look forward to discussing other powerful methods as well.    Happy New Year!!  Rob

Blog Post 6: The next several blog posts will focus on what I consider one of the most important success traits to have; a Positive Attitude. I’ll discuss how to measure it, cultivate it, move towards enhancing it and keeping it.

Friends following this blog may know how much I took from my time spent at IBM, the ultimate positive attitude company. IBM was relentless in its pursuit of creating a positive attitude in its employees. It was drilled into us, our compensation was often tied to it and a negative attitude was the ultimate weakness, the kiss of death. I’m not talking about blindly being a ‘pollyanna’, making believe everything is perfect, or kissing up to your superiors. I’m talking about Can Do, Don’t Make Excuses, and Take Ownership of Issues. Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

IBM has become one of the biggest and best companies in the world, and they did it by building an army of people that looked at obstacles as challenges and opportunities. They understood something vital; every business has problems, every life is filled with challenges – the difference between success and failure is when someone stops complaining and starts solving. Difficult tasks were “Opportunities to Excel”, and the tougher the task, the better the reward. Don’t whine, think positive, think overcome and think Solutions. You will not be able to overcome every obstacle but you will be admired and rewarded for giving it your best.

Having a positive attitude is the compass that drives your growth, and the thing that others cling to in their desire to help you move forward in your career. It speaks of your ability to overcome obstacles, which in turn allows others to trust you with more and more responsibility, and to think of you first when an opportunity comes up.  You will be noticed as someone deserving of a promotion, job offer or increased pay. People will want to work with you. They’ll ask your advice or demand that you be on project teams or advisement counseling boards. Respect, growth, success; they are all so closely linked to your attitude.

Now that I’ve made it clear how important I view this trait, how can we know where we stand? You may think you have a great attitude, but your friends, coworkers, boss or therapist might disagree. It’s very important to get an objective view. Thankfully there are some tools that can help to check the level of your attitude now, and provide some guidance on enhancing it even more.

The Psychology Today website has some great resources to help you figure out where on the scale of optimism/happiness you fall. There is a quick hit, online test you can do called Happiness Quiz, under the Tests, Health tab. This is a free, short test (10 questions) which provides a snapshot of how you view the world with a few paragraphs of worthwhile advice on adjusting your attitude to be more positive. There is also a longer, more in depth test (47 questions, appx. 20 minutes), located under the Tests, Personality tab as Optimism/Pessimism. This test will ask questions about a number of situations or facets of life, and provide a short, but interesting summary at the end. A full breakdown of the test results is available for a small fee ($4.95 at the time of writing this post), and is a very worthwhile investment in your self-awareness and growth. The full breakdown lists results, interpretation and advice concerning 5 different categories; Hopefulness, Sense of Belonging, Coping Skills, Cynicism and Sense of Invincibility. The information is clearly displayed and each category is graded on a 0-100 scale, so you can see immediately if there’s anything you may want to focus on. In addition to these resources, you may want to spend the time and money on completing a full Myers-Briggs personality test, available from a number of places online. These tests are frequently used by employers and universities for both growth and placement purposes.

Without knowing where we stand, it’s difficult to know which way to improve and move forward. Fortunately, a positive attitude is a skill like any other, and will get stronger with effort applied. There are countless examples of people who have accomplished amazing things as a result of their attitude and Can Do spirit. You can most likely find great examples amongst your friends, family, and mentors. Make them your heroes. Emulate them. Alternatively, minimize time with negative people, gossipers, those who may have a victim mentality who make more excuses rather than really owning and learning from their success and their failures.

The next few blog posts will expand on what each of us can do to improve our outlook and ‘attitude’ skill. There are a number of tools that I’ve used to foster a positive mental outlook. We will discuss the uses of meditation, acupuncture, physical exercise, counseling, medical options and others.

As always, please let me know your comments, suggestions and any tools or attitude adjusters you employ.  Rob